a woman’s heart…

The very essence of every woman’s heart is the peak of wisdom, the peak of inspiration, the peak of sexual desirability, the peak of soothing, healing love. The peak of everything. But it is protected… for good reason, by a series of concrete walls. To move inwardly from one wall to the next, requires that you intensify your capacity to devotion, and as you do so, you are rewarded with grace. This is not something you can negotiate verbally with a woman. She does not even know consciously how to open those gates herself. They are opened magically and invisibly by the keys of worship and devotion.

Add comment January 5, 2012 dduvall2

Doors Closing….

I know what you guys are thinking…. you have not heard from me in a while and I probably got whisked away by some Internet Knight and I am off basking in the glory of love…NOPE! I have just been super busy! However, I have been dating sporadically and have soon realized that lawyers and attorneys are not for me. By the way – is there even a difference?!?

I met an attorney on Match.com and after an email we decided to meet for drinks. His profile showed that he was educated, grew up in the South and career motivated – sounded good to me. We decided to go to Black Finn in DC. I arrived a little early and quickly made friends with the bartender and the older gentlemen next to me. Trying to be on my best behavior before my blind date – I opt out of ordering my vodka surprise for a beer.

Going into the date I knew that Mr. Attorney had a facial scar. It covered part of his forehead and ran just under his eye. I know what you are thinking – that this was a charity date and I felt bad for him HOWEVER not the case at all. He was extremely good-looking and the scar made him appealing. I have scars from childhood and from being clumsy! People – trust me when I say he was a good-looking man! The eye scar reminded me of Petey off the Little Rascals. Who doesn’t love Petey?

Mr. Attorney walked in about 15 minutes late – which is fine because he told me he was running late. After catching up and learning he had multiple degrees in education as well as being attorney/engineer. We chatted about our families and growing up. He and I are both from large families and we seemed to be hitting it off. We finished the date and walked to the metro. It was raining and he held the umbrella for us as we walked (very sweet). We walked into the metro station and through the gate and as we are descending down the escalator, he takes off running to catch the train. He jumps into the metro and as the doors are closing he pops his head out and says, “I had fun – thanks for a good time”. And the doors closed.

I am still on the escalator heading to the platform when I am trying to process what the hell just happened? Smh. I thought we were hitting it off and we were both flirting with each other. My train arrived a few moments later and climbed in still trying to figure it all out. Twenty minutes later I got a text from him that he really did have fun and we should do it again. I said that I would like that and that was the last I heard from him.

FML… Cheers!

Add comment October 22, 2011 dduvall2

August Review of Match.ugh

Well… this month posed yet another feat of date after date. Although I can say that I realize that I am the one putting myself through this craziness, so I can land a boyfriend. I must say that this is exhausting. Let’s recap this month’s dates…

• Mr. Happy Hour
• Mr. Chevy Chase
• Mr. Warren
• Mr.Lawyer
• Mr.Reston
• Mr. Homeland Security

Let me start by saying that this month showed a lot of promise… especially when I met Mr. Happy Hour! He was not a contestant on Match.com. He was actually a boy that I met at HH when I was out with a group of friends. We seemed to have hit it off right away. He was my type – super skinny, dorky and a small-town boy. After great conversation, he took my number and to my surprise – called me a few days later 🙂 We went to dinner at a restaurant in Arlington (without holding any hopes). The dinner went surprisingly smooth with lots of great conversation and laughs. Afterwards, we went across the street to grab a drink with some of his friends that were there celebrating a birthday. After one drink (yes just one!) he walked me back to the metro and told me he would like to see me again. Awwwww shucks! He asked me to HH with his friends a few days later. Even though I was hoping for a romantic dinner for two – especially since he was going to be traveling most of the month of August, but settled for HH since it meant I was able to hang out with him. After an accidental ‘height’ comment, the rest of HH went fine. Not to mention, I had to be around seven of his closest friends for the firs time (as they were sitting around staring and judging me)… not so easy! But… I put my big girl panties on and dealt with it! We kept in touch via text for the next week. I even put my Match status on ‘inactive’ because I really liked this guy. Ummmm – teenage girl LIKE! So… what happened next… NOTHING! Because he happened to fall off the face of the earth! Literally, I have not hear from him since. FML. Once again, leaving me to my point that boys suck! Mr. HH is now renamed Mr. Shithead.

After a few days in recovery… I got back on Match and went on a date with Mr. Chevy Chase. This guy was a TOOL from the start! We made arrangements to meet for drinks near Dupont Circle (DC) since it is close to the red line metro for him (not the orange line that I take). He texted me that morning to confirm the date and also left me with the text, “Don’t be late”. Wow. For that reason alone… I got there 20 minutes late. Hell will be the day when a man tell me what to do ESPECIALLY when I have never even met him! He was at the end of the bar when I approached him. He just looked like a douche. He bought a round of beer and we engaged in small talk (sports, weather…). He then tells me that I look, ‘established’. When asking him what he meant, he said, “It looks like you have money… you dress nice , you must have a great career”. Wow. My response was… “if you are asking if I have a job… well yes I do.” He then ordered another round of beer and made sure he told the bartender, “these are on her”. Yep. I drank my beer in record time and I got up to leave. As I was saying goodbye, he says,… “Well… you are a pretty girl. You have nice teeth. I will give you a call sometime.” FML.

Mr. Warren recap can be found in the “be careful what you wish for” blog.

This final week in August calls for a Match trifecta (Mr. Lawyer, Mr. Reston, Mr. Homeland Security). Why not?!?! It couldn’t get any worse! What was the worst that could happen? Lose self esteem…done. Depression…check! Decrease in dignity… it can’t get any lower! LOL 🙂

Stay tuned…

2 comments September 1, 2011 dduvall2

Be Careful What You Wish For….

all I wanted was to make out this weekend. I am not asking for much – just a solid make out session to make me feel good about myself.

Rewind to 48 hrs. prior…

Within the last week, I have been talking to a guy named Warren. He was what I thought was a successful find off of Match.com. We had seen each other three times (1 dinner, 2 lunches) and I thought things were going so-far-so-good! Warren is an attractive guy and had a lot of great things going for him – assuming since he is ATTRACTIVE! I decided to ask him to Happy Hour with a group of friends as a trial run. At HH, he kept up conversation and was pleasant. We finished the night by riding the metro back to are separate stops. The first stop was mine and as I was about to depart, being the southern gentleman he is – he stood up and gave me a hug goodbye. Although it was very sweet, he made me feel like a Care Bear before they would depart on an adventure to find other Care Bears…

He texted me the next day and asked me what my plans were for that night (Saturday). In the midst of Hurricane Irene, I decided that I needed to go to the bar and hear some live music. I told him which bar and he said he would meet up with me. Now – this is the true test – bringing him out to meet my two best girls, Agate and Citrine. I know these girls will tell me how it is and help me avoid the token DD move by ‘settling’. He arrived a little while after we all got there and the girls gave me the ‘He’s cute – seal of approval nod’ as we are rocking out to the band Gonzo’s Nose. The first red flag moment of the night was that he kept texting someone all throughout the night. Ugh – whatever. I can’t have it all!

As we are getting ready to leave, he asked me how I had gotten to the bar. I told him that I drove and that I only had two beers and was good to drive home. He tells me tha this car is at the metro when I said, ok – well Agate and her boyfriend are taking the metro too so you can ride back with them. He looked at me with his attractive eyes and asked me if I could drive him to his car. Alright people – yes I know this was a bad idea but he gave me the attractive puppy dog eyes look! Naturally I was thinking – yeah buddy – I am going to get my make-out on! So, Citrine and Warren got in my car and we made our way out to the storm-ridden suburbs of NoVa. I dropped Citrine off at her car and Warren made his way up to the front seat. As I am driving him to the metro, he informs me that his place is a mess or otherwise he would invite me back. Ummmm yeah, you are a guy! I expected you to be messy! I was still holding onto to the hope for a make out session since he is super grateful for driving his ass to the metro! As I pulled into the metro station, he thanked me and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek!That’s right – cheek! This was the 5th time I saw this guy and all I get is a kiss on the cheek!!!! For a moment, as my eyes were closed and slowly realizing the reality of the situation. FML.

The next day I am driving to the gym and I get a text message from my ex boyfriend; Captain Random. He asked if I would want to grab brunch with him after I finish working out. Might as well since there is a bunch spot right across from the gym. I met him at we began catching up on what is going on in each other’s lives. After we finished eating, he grabbed my hand and say, “I enjoy your company and miss you more than you know”. I know what you are thinking – Awwwww. Why am I on Match.com when there is a sweet ex boyfriend right across the table from me?!? For the record – Captain Random has major issues and that is entirely another blog in itself! So seeing that he was killing the mood out of my delightful eggs benedict, I told him I had to get going. We walked in front of the restaurant and I turned to give him a hug goodbye. As I was leaning in, he went in for the kiss and before I knew it his mouth was on mine! As I was trying to back off, his arms were wrapped around me like a skin-tight snuggie and there was no breaking free. After what seemed like hours, I managed to pull myself off of him and bid him farewell. FML.

This just goes to show you… be careful what you wish for!

1 comment August 30, 2011 dduvall2

July Recap of Match.com

As my wise refrigerator magnet says…..

I did just that…. I bit the bullet and decided to give this Match.com thing a shot.

Mr. Baltimore…

I began emailing Mr. Baltimore his profile said that he lives outside of Baltimore and that he is a Ravens football fan. Perfect – so am I! He came across as very nice. I was asking him about how certain features on Match worked and he was very good at explaining things. So after emailing back and forth – I decided to ask him to dinner (btw – I HATE asking a guy to dinner! Even over the computer guys can’t grow balls and ask a girl out!) We decided to meet in Laurel at a Mexican dive since that was roughly the halfway point for us. As I am driving from work, I kept repeatedly asking myself – What the hell am I doing? I was thinking he could be an axe murderer, if my mother found out SHE would kill me. I began singing, What the fuck am I doing with my life to Katy Perry’s ‘Firework’ beat.

I parked in a highly visible area where I was sure someone could hear my screams just in case 1) I was getting attacked or 2) he didn’t look ANYTHING like his picture. He met me in the parking lot and we walked into the restaurant together. He was much shorter than I expected. I was thinking that someone should tell him that six feet is not an estimate. After we ordered our food we began to talk a little about each other. I asked him that since he was a RAVENS fan, how many games had he gone to at M&T stadium. He said none…. Oh, ok well I know tickets are expensive, I thought. I then asked him where he watches the games (possible answers being a bar, his house, his buddies house, with family, ext…) He informed me that he doesn’t watch any football and he chooses to spend his time reading at night. When I asked him why did he say he was a Ravens fan IF he didn’t watch the games – he said it was because he lives in Maryland so he just put it down….. WOW. Our food came out and as I was rapidly eating so the date would be over he informed me that he saved $20 on his cable bill this year. FUCK MY LIFE! We both paid and I practically ran back to my car! —NEXT

Mr. Army…

The next guy I had been chatting up with on Match was an Army guy who seemed pretty interesting. We both shared similar interests – working out, going to church, hanging out with friends, ext… After emailing back and forth, I asked him if he would like to grab a drink at the end of the week. Again – me with my invisible balls asked him! He responded back that he could not because HE IS STATIONED IN SOUTH KOREA!!! I began thinking this was some sort of sick joke. Clearly one of my brothers hacked into some poor innocent guy’s account and is clearly fucking with me right now! He said that he was currently stationed in S. Korea and will be returning to the DC area in December. I know, I should be respectful since he is selfless young man who signed up to fight for our freedom. I get it. BUT – clearly his profile said he was from DC and not South Korea. I politely emailed him back and said that I signed up for Match.com and NOT Penpal.com. I told him that he should change the area of where his profile read or tell a girl in the first email. What is wrong with this guy…! NEXT…

Mr. RedHead…

Let me begin by saying Red Heads are special people who need love too. They are a rare breed of human that certain people find attractive and sexy. Let me tell you that I am not one of them! A very sweet but very redheaded guy winked at me on Match. I realized this as I was drinking Crystal Light where I began to choke. No way. Not happening. Ever. If a redhead was to ever get intimate with me, I would either run away screaming or try to put out his crotch fire with large amounts of water. Plus – if I was to ever settle down with a redhead, my future child very well could end up looking like this … and I would clearly have to return it.

2 comments July 30, 2011 dduvall2

My Purse

If my purse could talk… it would say, YOU DISGUST ME!

My purse is the one thing that shows me what kind of night I had previous. I normally start the night off with the following items in my purse:

• ID
• Cash
• A credit card
• Lip gloss
• Phone
• Breath mints

This is not me!

In college – before I came around to using purses, I would stuff everything in my bra. Why… I don’t know?!? I was the anti-purse in college. Keeping in mind that I have a small chest and somehow a lumpy bra made more sense than carrying a purse! Now… after any given night of drinking and bar hopping, I can find any of the following in my purse:

• Business cards from random men
• Coasters from different bars
• receipts
• Beads/jewelry
• A ring pop
• Hand sanitizer
• Cocktail straws
• Tampon
• Stud finder (yes, that thing that finds nails in the walls!)
• Strapless bra (so uncomfortable and it slides down!)
• Misc notes from myself on bar napkins

I come from a long line of hoarders… and even though I keep a clean and get-rid-of-it lifestyle, I still can’t shake the purse hoarding.

There has to be a program out there for me!

1 comment July 23, 2011 dduvall2

Match.com

Once upon a time, in a land with mountains and valleys, there was a young girl named Deedee. She enjoyed living life to the fullest and making memories out of experiences…

Record scratch……………………………………….fast forward

That was me then! Now, I am a 28 year old female trying to take on the world! What was once making memories out of experiences has turned into running FAST from awkward situations (which happens quite often).

Last week, I bit the bullet and signed up for Match.com. I heard great stories about people who knew people and they found love. I also know people who were on it and told me horror stories. A good friend of mine, Citrine told me that she signed up and that she was going on a date daily. That sounds exhausting! But after many uncomfortable family gatherings and multiple lectures of ‘needing to find someone to settle down’, I learned that this should be the first step in the 12 step program called MEN.

Within the first few days, I have been violated to depths of my being. I have been winked at (equivalent of being poked), emailed and IM’d relentlessly. I am exhausted! Before I even log on to Match – I need to stretch, mentally prepare and have a gatorade close by. Over 500 people have ‘viewed’ my profile. I have been made a ‘favorite’ by four gentlemen with whom I have had no interaction with at all. Classy – I know! As for “littlesniperboy” and “ImSoillImSick” – you make me sick. You have no shot with any woman on or off the computer. Just stop trying.

I also was delighted to have the experience of being IM’d by a 47 year old Tubby who told me I was hot. When I did not respond to him, he told me that my profile pictures were fake and that I was probably some ugly woman from Ghana. Thank you Mr. Teletubby – you do not have a shot in hell from a blind woman!

Finally , my most recent fuck-my-life-because-I –am-on-Match moment happened yesterday. A 36 yr. and overweight cop had been emailing me a few times with zero response (on my end). He thought he would delight me by sending yet another email. He asked me if I was at the Verizon store in DC on Tuesday. FUCK! I am now being recognized on the streets from losers on Match! Hello vodka, are you there? It’s me- Deedee.

With all of the pain and shame I have undergone by signing up for Match… it is not absolutely dreadful. I would say that 1 out of 10 men that have ‘connected’ with me are put into the maybe pile. I have corresponded with a few of the maybe’s and although I have not physically gone on any dates, the potential is coming. I will eventually suck up my pride and go out to meet some of these potential suitors.

This all leads me to raise the question …What does a girl have to do to be courted around here???

Baby steps Deedee. Baby steps.

Add comment July 14, 2011 dduvall2